dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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