i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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