possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
