and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize