Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
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If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,