Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that

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  (313): Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that http://tfl.nu/fftq
  Replies (6) Good night (1211) Bad night (2991)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?

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  (631): I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory? http://tfl.nu/wpyo
  Replies (12) Good night (5739) Bad night (638)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.

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  (330): Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime. http://tfl.nu/10jr
  Replies (75) Good night (2744) Bad night (618)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.

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  (716): Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time. http://tfl.nu/ytyv
  Replies (79) Good night (7468) Bad night (1475)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.

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  (571): I seriously fake cumming more than i poop. http://tfl.nu/kwns
  Replies (33) Good night (763) Bad night (5612)
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  (323): View more from California

  No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.

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  (323): No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too. http://tfl.nu/d0fo
  Replies (24) Good night (7695) Bad night (1041)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon

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  (201): PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon http://tfl.nu/nm2q
  Replies (14) Good night (4726) Bad night (1463)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.

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  (517): Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/mubr
  Replies (10) Good night (5493) Bad night (865)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count

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  (678): I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count http://tfl.nu/smaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1623) Bad night (958)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?

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  (402): We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR? http://tfl.nu/06jo
  Replies (1) Good night (1003) Bad night (636)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.

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  (604): I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power. http://tfl.nu/ot62
  Replies (4) Good night (1641) Bad night (943)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.

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  (214): He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash. http://tfl.nu/jj6x
  Replies (7) Good night (2001) Bad night (863)
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  (209): View more from California

  Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....

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  (209): Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage.... http://tfl.nu/5in8
  Replies (2) Good night (843) Bad night (442)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.

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  (970): Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack. http://tfl.nu/afhg
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (898)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker

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  (506): The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker http://tfl.nu/zneu
  Replies (4) Good night (389) Bad night (813)

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