Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.

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  (904): How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face. http://tfl.nu/e61v
  Replies (17) Good night (589) Bad night (3009)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy

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  (904): i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy http://tfl.nu/fggt
  Replies (15) Good night (3777) Bad night (784)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.

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  (623): I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again. http://tfl.nu/xgq4
  Replies (22) Good night (4187) Bad night (709)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I am SOOO high

  (830): View more from Texas

  tell me about your high

  (214): View more from Texas

  HUGE THUMBTACKS

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  (214): I am SOOO high (830): tell me about your high (214): HUGE THUMBTACKS http://tfl.nu/kz11
  Replies (13) Good night (5653) Bad night (812)
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  (415): View more from California

  what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance

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  (415): what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance http://tfl.nu/c8s3
  Replies (34) Good night (1232) Bad night (4795)
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  (707): View more from California

  I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..

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  (707): I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution.. http://tfl.nu/dcg9
  Replies (18) Good night (4500) Bad night (1455)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha

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  (610): We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha http://tfl.nu/f3qb
  Replies (4) Good night (1599) Bad night (586)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.

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  (540): Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms. http://tfl.nu/tg48
  Replies (16) Good night (3383) Bad night (655)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew

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  (585): Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew http://tfl.nu/mfmq
  Replies (8) Good night (3700) Bad night (774)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.

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  (320): What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off. http://tfl.nu/fj7u
  Replies (12) Good night (2682) Bad night (832)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box

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  (516): Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box http://tfl.nu/dk8b
  Replies (9) Good night (603) Bad night (1519)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.

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  (512): I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air. http://tfl.nu/cigy
  Replies (8) Good night (1927) Bad night (496)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option

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  (412): I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option http://tfl.nu/ggjd
  Replies (1) Good night (395) Bad night (217)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car

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  (703): To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car http://tfl.nu/yj9e
  Replies (0) Good night (219) Bad night (415)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.

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  (804): He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him. http://tfl.nu/lrjc
  Replies (1) Good night (989) Bad night (181)

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