It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
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I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
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He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?