in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
