CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
