I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
