when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
