we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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