yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
