he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
