i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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