Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize