I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
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I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
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Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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