so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
