I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
