You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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