Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
