Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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