She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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