Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
