he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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