So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
