He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
you never un-have a 4some
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
