at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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