Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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