if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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