All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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