Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
