I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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