Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
