I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This baby is an asshole
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When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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