What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize