I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
