how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
