I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize