Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
