also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
