I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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