Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
