I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
