mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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