its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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