We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
