coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Cover your peen. We're going out.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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