i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
