somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
