WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So vagazzling was a success
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
