he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
