Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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