I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
