New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
