So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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