Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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