so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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