yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I cut my penus on the lid.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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