oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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