I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
