Dual....:-)
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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